Blue

     On the way to school, chill air cutting my face and clear blue sky overhead. I looked over the horizon to the west and my mind saw the ocean. Dancing curves of watery depth and sound of the sea. I could almost smell its taste. So much blue on the sky.
     And then a group of Korean walked by, littering the air with their swear words.
     Too much noise with these people.

TV Controls, Audience Channeld

     TV 'Channels' the point of view. Sounds like a very narrowed and controlled point of view to me. And why wouldn't they want to control the audience's point of view? Stuff develops model of perfection and needs to be with it in the center of it, thus people go out and buy stuff to be it, makes profits for companies using desires.
     They're not kidding about people being slaves of media.
     You would think having a remote controller on your hand and 400 different channels from a glowing box sounds like a big control. But that is an utterly outrageous major underestimation of potentials of a human being.
     Just imagine. You have choices in your life about the number of atoms you're carrying on your body. And those boxes only has 400.
     TV could be a resourceful tool and a very powerful one capable of improve or overthrowing any individual on a couch. Use it if you cannot not use it. But limiting yourself is certainly not something you need too many occasion, I'm sure.

Beer Rant #1

     Something about pouring beer, since I'm drinking a pitcher. They tilt cup to make it less foamy. But why would they tilt it so that the bottom of the cup is facing opposite of where beer is poured from? Tilting a cup opposite of that is at least half of distance and velocity of liquid until it hits the surface of the cup, therefore much less foamy. Also less tilt was needed since it'll hit the side of the cup much easier instead of the bottom of the cup.
     Well, depends on the length and width of the cup, that is. Average Korean beer cups are way too thin, I tell ya. That thing is more time spending on pouring than drinking. They love pouring so much that they made specific rules and myths about how to pour. And none of them ever drink any alcohol out of a bottle.
     Beside me, that is.
     Yeah, I'm keep forgetting that I'm one of them as well. Maybe that's it. All of my friends are keep telling me that I'm so not Korean, which is a complement for me. Maybe one of the reason is because I like to drink beer out of bottles and other Korean don't do such thing unless they're doing some sort of supposedly a public stunt? I have my reasons, though, you know. What's wrong with owning and spending my own quantity I paid for? It also helps me to count how much alcohol I can drink and I should drink, how expensive I am to hang out with myself, that much of my own responsibility I'm taking for myself. I don't owe anybody and nobody needs to owe me anything for beer I drink. I drink as much as I earned and as much as I can. Nobody force me to drink anything, I don't force anyone to drink, and nobody need to feel the need to drink any more than they should. Nobody ends up screwing around about payments. What's so wrong with that?
     That's kinda like that habit of how Korean pubs are working, I think.
     I like to pay things I buy up front because it's easier to count things that way either for customers or for bartenders. What I did for pleasure, I already paid for. No one can accuse me for otherwise when I walk out of that place. I walk out clean after drinking my drinks. No potential fraud from using facts that how drunk customers can't count.
     Korean pubs, they don't work that way. You still can in westernized pubs. I was a bartender in one of them. Korean always wanted to pay their drink after they finished their drink. And that made things unbelievably complicated. And I served both foreigners and Korean almost equally enough that I can tell the differences.

     An example. There's a group of Korean claiming a table drinking for hours. When they leave, they've been drinking total amount of about 200,000 Korean won, which is about little less than 200 U.S. dollar. One of them feels pretty good about drinking that night for variety of reasons and he decided to pay all of it by himself. Maybe it was his payday. And couple of his friends accompanied him watched him encouraged him while he paid all of their stuff because that's what friends to in Korea apparently. So I told them they owed somewhat about 200,000 won. And I counted that manually on a piece of paper, of course. If that was any busier day, system like that is highly likely to be overwhelming and cause of errors and miscalculations. And that's probably what they thought I did, that I must have miscalculated. They accused me that they didn't drink that much of an alcohol altogether. Outnumbered by being the only bartender working that day. And all they discounted themselves was only like couple of cheap beer bottles at most. And they're drunk as hell. That conversation was not reasonable at all. I would have just let them go with a bit of a random discount because I didn't wanted to deal with that kind of trouble just for some several bux. But you know my boss wouldn't let me getting different numbers from what I wrote down and what I actually got from customers and what is actually in the fridge. So we argued for a good 10 useless minutes. But they're drunk as hell, they're celebrating something, I kinda felt sorry about making their day go wrong. So I decided to let them go. And there weren't many choices to make excuses for that. Wether I say I miscalculated, or they were actually wrong but I'm just letting them go. What I actually told them was "it seems like a good day for you guys, so how about I give you guys a bit of a discount for tonight?". And they paid even less than what they said they did owed, and they left peacefully. They never came back. And I opened my own wallet to fill in the numbers. Months later my crazy boss accused me as a thief and we argued. Me sort of left, she sort of fired me. That bar was closed in 3 months after that argument. That's a different story, but anyway.

     All of that could have been avoided if this was a system where people pay things up front when they buy drink in the bar. And they usually don't do that in this country for some reason. Maybe for better pleasure? Better social connection even though it's kinda been forces? I can't quite get this density of their logic. Because I have this question that none of them have been able to answer up to this day.
     Why can't they just take their own freaking responsibilities of their own doing?
     I'm sick of listening of their responses saying "because this is Korea."

Lie Infinity

Microphone... by otaru23 on deviantART

     Some people care about joy and smile and excitement. Care enough that they pretend things. Put on some makeups, talk more than they can actually do, believing their own pride.
     Pretenses are form of lies. Some are more desperate than taking responsibilities of. Then people act according to those lies. Liars who built lies become surrounded by their own lies.
     People smiles long as they can. Some people may have lied too high that they have to cry it out loud when they fall into the reality once in a while. They'll want to smile again.
     So cycle continues.

     Why lie if people are ready for the truth?
     Because people are not ready for the truth. The uglies. The denials.


     There were some people who lied to me for their own pleasure and expected me to act opposite. They wanted me to do something, but what they actually said was opposite of it because saying those particular words made them feel better about themselves. And they got mad at me for doing what they actually said they wanted me to do.
     What is this, am I suppose to doubt everything they said and detect lies and act backward on the chance that they may have wanted it differently? What kind of families and friendships and leaderships are they suppose to be?
     Events like that makes me think about lies. So comes this small blog post about a cycle of lies.
     Some lies are good, I'm keep telling you. Just take some responsibilities and less harassing and complaining.

    Another thing. I don't know if this is classified as lies, but not talking about inconveniences in right timing are some of the best form of deception.

    Know your lies!

Sunday Death

     Sunday. And an odd idea struck me.
     If you somehow knew the day that you die is a sunday in a distant future, how would you spend every sunday or feel about it?

     I would spend every sunday doing something that's suppose to kill me, in fun and extreme and creative ways. Because I know I wouldn't die until the day comes. And I'd do all sorts of fun things that nobody else can dare, followed by some stories to talk about what I did for fun. And when that day that I die finally arrives, I'll die in the most hilarious and amazing way possible.

     So, yeah. Practice how to die every sunday. One way to celebrate how alive I am, screwing death.

     Hopefully I don't get crippled though. Day that I die doesn't say anything about that little detail.

No Death Today by AndrewDickman

Interspecies Equality

     I can kinda see in a long distant future, animal rights will elevate when we make them smart as a human. Then they get healthy, civilized, wear clothes, stand up comedy show, make weapons, fight for their own rights, legal beastility or interspecies marriage, treated equal. Then we gonna do that to bugs. Then we gonna do that to plants. Then we gonna do that to earth. Then we give jellyfish couple of brains.
     What do we eat?
     Cloned chemical cells and pills, I guess. Or we're mechanized. Eat sunlight and water propulsion.

Cook or Die

     I told my self I'd rather starve than cook. I did starved alright, while there were all sorts of supplies from last holiday in my fridge. And I was gonna die or watch all of those food goes to waste.
     It's not too bad overall. I only destroyed one of the cooking instrument, one way my kitchen telling me "Stop cooking you fucking idiot!". Burnt just one of my finger, just a fingertip. Only one third of the food came out charred and another one third undercooked. I'm so getting cancer in 10 years. And only wasted an entire hour cooking this.
     Did not burnt my house, I did not burnt my house. Nothing in my kitchen is on fire. That's a huge leap.
     I hate this. I hate this NEEDs! Hunger, food and eating it! It directly leads to my work capacity and death. And money! Food poisons! Argh!

Lethal Lighter

     A video shoot I did with my co-writer in Getting Past the White Tiger, Ashley Guerrero, who's done a great job in couple of moves out in the cold doing all the bidding I was asking our of her.

     Video was intended for experimenting couple of film tricks.
     That gun is actually a giant lighter. It does not fire projectile or make pop sound. And it's very flimsy.
     There is no actual gun firing scene in this video. You just hear something popped, and it looks like somebody got shot.
     There was only one of me, not two.
     Only two of them went out there to film this. So there is no scene where both of us are in the same picture.
     Thought I could have added something more. But the entire film took only 30 minutes without written script.
     All videos were muted when I edit them. There is no sound that was captured with the video. All are manually inserted, and that was my experiment as well. I think it worked well.
     Most sounds are based on Half-Life 2.
     Entire process was done within a day. And I only got the idea a day before.
     This video has no music. If you play any music while you're watching this, it kinda work. It's could be pretty hilarious depends on music.

Depends On Cue

     If one is attempting full communication mostly with body language and expecting certain outcomes, that doesn't sounds like it's going to work well. Proper verbal or written language is bad enough with everyone having different red buttons. Body language is even blurrier and that much of variety of potential meanings. One can dance with it. But it could be highly misleading.

     Some verbals could be about as bad and some are more often used for deception. Written words are usually worse in same direction. People have different cultures, background and group of people they have history with. Certain signs that one was well educated and fluently communicated with may means nothing to people from different background.

     However, being blunt can be problematic as well. I think this is an issue about how much you can trust others to speak openly. And how much humor you can or cannot apply for positive emotional feedback. Being blunt can be very edged and could stab someone where one didn't intended.

     I support blunt over cues only because I nearly doesn't have any humors that has any cultural origins. And I've seen some occasions that people exchanged false signals that leads to emotional drama.

     I'd say you can balance it out. Shift cues and be cuddly with right people. People who gets your cue, people who speaks same body language as you. I can't think of a better company for socialization. But be blunt with people who asks for it. I would say being blunt on blunt people would be more polite way to get socialized than confusing signals they can't commune.

Free Yourself

     There are some things that are honest that can be said that makes everyone uncomfortable about that person that it is actually something that everyone does, sheltered in self righteous 'none of my business', 'love myself', 'I am always right', 'be myself' and 'I don't need change, I only improve' although 'improve' is a type of a change, or even in opposite of everything above.

     Can we really say we're fully honest to ourselves? Will we ever open our mind? Is lying bad? Is honesty good? Should we avoid death?

     There is no absolution. Everything are best guesses. Answers are temporary solutions. Matters are irrelevant and relevant.

     Free yourself.