Breath

     I held my breath because I was tired of breathing. Then I thought, 'How comfortable it would be if I wouldn't even have to breath?'

     What if breathing is a choice, not a necessity?

Humanity Vaporization

     Everyone got problems? People keep fight, go to war, break each other's heart, idiocy keep raving about? I have an ultimate solution. Humanity, or better yet, all life forms on this planet, vaporized.

     No event ever does occur on it's own. No problem ever been a problem by itself. There's been sources fueling it directly and indirectly all the time. Causes and chain events.

     It's impossible to see all of it with all our potentials. So we overlook most of them that really caused it all and then we go ahead and blame the wrong things with our best guesses. But eventually if we keep dig through and argue about it, everything caused every single one of those problems. And that one, I'm saying that literally.

     And it's not even like that war time supply chain that we can cut a couple of strings and a battalion would suddenly cease to exist. There's way too many chain events happening all over the universe. So guess what fixes those problems that we call problems? Cutting off every one of those chains, that fixes the problem.

     Ultimate solution for all the problems we have ever known : Vaporization of all life form.

     Believe me, that'll do the trick.

We all die someday, right?
So why not go out with the strongest force we know in the galaxy?

     But what, too cruel? Not an option? Lives are valuable?
     Well who cares about lives beside Earth anyway? And we're wrecking the havoc on Earth that created life and saving us astronomically countless times. I mean, just count how many times Earth's shield protected us from sun blast alone. That would have literally vaporized us. And this is how we decide to pay back? For rest of the universe, a grain of sand would have have more history and value than any life form we have ever been decided to call it a life form.

     Ah well, but you gotta want it enough.

     It's a way of peace, you know. People don't seems to understand what peace really is.

     Peace is nothingness.

     Love and happiness is eruption of emotions just like anger and violence. They are nothing to do with peace. If anything, they cause and crave each other.
     And there is no peace, for there is no nothingness.
     If you think about it, we're still in middle of a giant explosion. And 'a giant explosion' is a considerable understatement.

Blue

     On the way to school, chill air cutting my face and clear blue sky overhead. I looked over the horizon to the west and my mind saw the ocean. Dancing curves of watery depth and sound of the sea. I could almost smell its taste. So much blue on the sky.
     And then a group of Korean walked by, littering the air with their swear words.
     Too much noise with these people.

TV Controls, Audience Channeld

     TV 'Channels' the point of view. Sounds like a very narrowed and controlled point of view to me. And why wouldn't they want to control the audience's point of view? Stuff develops model of perfection and needs to be with it in the center of it, thus people go out and buy stuff to be it, makes profits for companies using desires.
     They're not kidding about people being slaves of media.
     You would think having a remote controller on your hand and 400 different channels from a glowing box sounds like a big control. But that is an utterly outrageous major underestimation of potentials of a human being.
     Just imagine. You have choices in your life about the number of atoms you're carrying on your body. And those boxes only has 400.
     TV could be a resourceful tool and a very powerful one capable of improve or overthrowing any individual on a couch. Use it if you cannot not use it. But limiting yourself is certainly not something you need too many occasion, I'm sure.

Beer Rant #1

     Something about pouring beer, since I'm drinking a pitcher. They tilt cup to make it less foamy. But why would they tilt it so that the bottom of the cup is facing opposite of where beer is poured from? Tilting a cup opposite of that is at least half of distance and velocity of liquid until it hits the surface of the cup, therefore much less foamy. Also less tilt was needed since it'll hit the side of the cup much easier instead of the bottom of the cup.
     Well, depends on the length and width of the cup, that is. Average Korean beer cups are way too thin, I tell ya. That thing is more time spending on pouring than drinking. They love pouring so much that they made specific rules and myths about how to pour. And none of them ever drink any alcohol out of a bottle.
     Beside me, that is.
     Yeah, I'm keep forgetting that I'm one of them as well. Maybe that's it. All of my friends are keep telling me that I'm so not Korean, which is a complement for me. Maybe one of the reason is because I like to drink beer out of bottles and other Korean don't do such thing unless they're doing some sort of supposedly a public stunt? I have my reasons, though, you know. What's wrong with owning and spending my own quantity I paid for? It also helps me to count how much alcohol I can drink and I should drink, how expensive I am to hang out with myself, that much of my own responsibility I'm taking for myself. I don't owe anybody and nobody needs to owe me anything for beer I drink. I drink as much as I earned and as much as I can. Nobody force me to drink anything, I don't force anyone to drink, and nobody need to feel the need to drink any more than they should. Nobody ends up screwing around about payments. What's so wrong with that?
     That's kinda like that habit of how Korean pubs are working, I think.
     I like to pay things I buy up front because it's easier to count things that way either for customers or for bartenders. What I did for pleasure, I already paid for. No one can accuse me for otherwise when I walk out of that place. I walk out clean after drinking my drinks. No potential fraud from using facts that how drunk customers can't count.
     Korean pubs, they don't work that way. You still can in westernized pubs. I was a bartender in one of them. Korean always wanted to pay their drink after they finished their drink. And that made things unbelievably complicated. And I served both foreigners and Korean almost equally enough that I can tell the differences.

     An example. There's a group of Korean claiming a table drinking for hours. When they leave, they've been drinking total amount of about 200,000 Korean won, which is about little less than 200 U.S. dollar. One of them feels pretty good about drinking that night for variety of reasons and he decided to pay all of it by himself. Maybe it was his payday. And couple of his friends accompanied him watched him encouraged him while he paid all of their stuff because that's what friends to in Korea apparently. So I told them they owed somewhat about 200,000 won. And I counted that manually on a piece of paper, of course. If that was any busier day, system like that is highly likely to be overwhelming and cause of errors and miscalculations. And that's probably what they thought I did, that I must have miscalculated. They accused me that they didn't drink that much of an alcohol altogether. Outnumbered by being the only bartender working that day. And all they discounted themselves was only like couple of cheap beer bottles at most. And they're drunk as hell. That conversation was not reasonable at all. I would have just let them go with a bit of a random discount because I didn't wanted to deal with that kind of trouble just for some several bux. But you know my boss wouldn't let me getting different numbers from what I wrote down and what I actually got from customers and what is actually in the fridge. So we argued for a good 10 useless minutes. But they're drunk as hell, they're celebrating something, I kinda felt sorry about making their day go wrong. So I decided to let them go. And there weren't many choices to make excuses for that. Wether I say I miscalculated, or they were actually wrong but I'm just letting them go. What I actually told them was "it seems like a good day for you guys, so how about I give you guys a bit of a discount for tonight?". And they paid even less than what they said they did owed, and they left peacefully. They never came back. And I opened my own wallet to fill in the numbers. Months later my crazy boss accused me as a thief and we argued. Me sort of left, she sort of fired me. That bar was closed in 3 months after that argument. That's a different story, but anyway.

     All of that could have been avoided if this was a system where people pay things up front when they buy drink in the bar. And they usually don't do that in this country for some reason. Maybe for better pleasure? Better social connection even though it's kinda been forces? I can't quite get this density of their logic. Because I have this question that none of them have been able to answer up to this day.
     Why can't they just take their own freaking responsibilities of their own doing?
     I'm sick of listening of their responses saying "because this is Korea."