Lie Infinity

Microphone... by otaru23 on deviantART

     Some people care about joy and smile and excitement. Care enough that they pretend things. Put on some makeups, talk more than they can actually do, believing their own pride.
     Pretenses are form of lies. Some are more desperate than taking responsibilities of. Then people act according to those lies. Liars who built lies become surrounded by their own lies.
     People smiles long as they can. Some people may have lied too high that they have to cry it out loud when they fall into the reality once in a while. They'll want to smile again.
     So cycle continues.

     Why lie if people are ready for the truth?
     Because people are not ready for the truth. The uglies. The denials.


     There were some people who lied to me for their own pleasure and expected me to act opposite. They wanted me to do something, but what they actually said was opposite of it because saying those particular words made them feel better about themselves. And they got mad at me for doing what they actually said they wanted me to do.
     What is this, am I suppose to doubt everything they said and detect lies and act backward on the chance that they may have wanted it differently? What kind of families and friendships and leaderships are they suppose to be?
     Events like that makes me think about lies. So comes this small blog post about a cycle of lies.
     Some lies are good, I'm keep telling you. Just take some responsibilities and less harassing and complaining.

    Another thing. I don't know if this is classified as lies, but not talking about inconveniences in right timing are some of the best form of deception.

    Know your lies!

Sunday Death

     Sunday. And an odd idea struck me.
     If you somehow knew the day that you die is a sunday in a distant future, how would you spend every sunday or feel about it?

     I would spend every sunday doing something that's suppose to kill me, in fun and extreme and creative ways. Because I know I wouldn't die until the day comes. And I'd do all sorts of fun things that nobody else can dare, followed by some stories to talk about what I did for fun. And when that day that I die finally arrives, I'll die in the most hilarious and amazing way possible.

     So, yeah. Practice how to die every sunday. One way to celebrate how alive I am, screwing death.

     Hopefully I don't get crippled though. Day that I die doesn't say anything about that little detail.

No Death Today by AndrewDickman

Interspecies Equality

     I can kinda see in a long distant future, animal rights will elevate when we make them smart as a human. Then they get healthy, civilized, wear clothes, stand up comedy show, make weapons, fight for their own rights, legal beastility or interspecies marriage, treated equal. Then we gonna do that to bugs. Then we gonna do that to plants. Then we gonna do that to earth. Then we give jellyfish couple of brains.
     What do we eat?
     Cloned chemical cells and pills, I guess. Or we're mechanized. Eat sunlight and water propulsion.

Cook or Die

     I told my self I'd rather starve than cook. I did starved alright, while there were all sorts of supplies from last holiday in my fridge. And I was gonna die or watch all of those food goes to waste.
     It's not too bad overall. I only destroyed one of the cooking instrument, one way my kitchen telling me "Stop cooking you fucking idiot!". Burnt just one of my finger, just a fingertip. Only one third of the food came out charred and another one third undercooked. I'm so getting cancer in 10 years. And only wasted an entire hour cooking this.
     Did not burnt my house, I did not burnt my house. Nothing in my kitchen is on fire. That's a huge leap.
     I hate this. I hate this NEEDs! Hunger, food and eating it! It directly leads to my work capacity and death. And money! Food poisons! Argh!

Lethal Lighter

     A video shoot I did with my co-writer in Getting Past the White Tiger, Ashley Guerrero, who's done a great job in couple of moves out in the cold doing all the bidding I was asking our of her.

     Video was intended for experimenting couple of film tricks.
     That gun is actually a giant lighter. It does not fire projectile or make pop sound. And it's very flimsy.
     There is no actual gun firing scene in this video. You just hear something popped, and it looks like somebody got shot.
     There was only one of me, not two.
     Only two of them went out there to film this. So there is no scene where both of us are in the same picture.
     Thought I could have added something more. But the entire film took only 30 minutes without written script.
     All videos were muted when I edit them. There is no sound that was captured with the video. All are manually inserted, and that was my experiment as well. I think it worked well.
     Most sounds are based on Half-Life 2.
     Entire process was done within a day. And I only got the idea a day before.
     This video has no music. If you play any music while you're watching this, it kinda work. It's could be pretty hilarious depends on music.

Depends On Cue

     If one is attempting full communication mostly with body language and expecting certain outcomes, that doesn't sounds like it's going to work well. Proper verbal or written language is bad enough with everyone having different red buttons. Body language is even blurrier and that much of variety of potential meanings. One can dance with it. But it could be highly misleading.

     Some verbals could be about as bad and some are more often used for deception. Written words are usually worse in same direction. People have different cultures, background and group of people they have history with. Certain signs that one was well educated and fluently communicated with may means nothing to people from different background.

     However, being blunt can be problematic as well. I think this is an issue about how much you can trust others to speak openly. And how much humor you can or cannot apply for positive emotional feedback. Being blunt can be very edged and could stab someone where one didn't intended.

     I support blunt over cues only because I nearly doesn't have any humors that has any cultural origins. And I've seen some occasions that people exchanged false signals that leads to emotional drama.

     I'd say you can balance it out. Shift cues and be cuddly with right people. People who gets your cue, people who speaks same body language as you. I can't think of a better company for socialization. But be blunt with people who asks for it. I would say being blunt on blunt people would be more polite way to get socialized than confusing signals they can't commune.

Free Yourself

     There are some things that are honest that can be said that makes everyone uncomfortable about that person that it is actually something that everyone does, sheltered in self righteous 'none of my business', 'love myself', 'I am always right', 'be myself' and 'I don't need change, I only improve' although 'improve' is a type of a change, or even in opposite of everything above.

     Can we really say we're fully honest to ourselves? Will we ever open our mind? Is lying bad? Is honesty good? Should we avoid death?

     There is no absolution. Everything are best guesses. Answers are temporary solutions. Matters are irrelevant and relevant.

     Free yourself. 

Magic!

Playing Video Games

     Played video games since I was around 5 years old, probably seen everything that video games can offer up to today. Still playing around. Sometime it feels like waste of my life, but I did picked up a few good knowledges on the way. For example, majority of my second language came from playing video games for so long, which is the language I'm using to write this blog today (other majority involves beer). Of course, amongst all, there are friends who kept around with me all the time. Although languages in video games could be harsh, there are some good people always around somewhere even in one of those realms. Also learned how to motivate myself, how to get comfortable in stressful situation surprisingly involves lot of physical activities, how to find direction and see the maps, how to drive and so on. While all the public schools continuously failing me, video games actually taught me quite a lot of lessons.
     Of course I don't get those by playing any random games forever. I'm the type who usually stay away from arcade games. I understand how they are fun easily. But my preferences are usually heavy. Unless there are good friends to play with, I even stay away from any multiplay game types. Examples of Gears of War, Halo, Call of Duty. Ones that I enjoyed story, I just played that. Otherwise I waste not much more of time with them and moved on to the next game. Mass Effect, for me, is the all time the best game I have ever played so far. While Skyrim or GTA IV gotten me pretty addicted with varieties they have in a game and very decent quality of recreation.
     Many people talks of World of Warcraft, or in Korea, League of Legends or old Starcraft. Those things were fun for me 15 years ago. Then I got bored long before those games even existed. I can't take myself stuck in that repetitiveness more than a month.
     Japanese games, I also avoid. I'm not fascinated about exaggerated heroic types. I do enjoy extraordinary circumstances or environments. Science fictions, usually, or very well done or very original fantasy worlds. But people, I prefer normal people with normal problems, something that I can relate to myself and care for the characters. It was a value I couldn't see from Japanese games. Their games were very good back in 1980s. But in my opinion I think their video game ideas just decided to stay in 20th century.
     Then the same reason why I can't play Japanese games, I generally just stopped buying any games lately. I thought about buying Halo 4, Call of Duty Black Ops II, Assassin's Creed 3, Forza Motorsport Horizon and so on. But then, didn't I already played dozens of those? It's just a same games I already piled myself with except some upgrades that I have to pay the full price for them. And I'm not exactly rich with money to support all that. And if I'm playing just stories, some of those games will be a very short games for me.
     Games I got are already a very good games and whenever my addictions hits me I can stick with them for a while, and it's a better addiction than most. Until I see something innovative, I'm probably staying with what I have.
     Can't wait for GTA V.
     And just finished Gears of War 3 horde mode with a friend for the first time from the beginning. Had a bit of a celebration.
     It's terrible Korea banned latest Mortal Kombat for nudity and violent contents, however they understand so little of it. I got it anyway. Suck it, Korea.
     And I'm back on Skyrim, for I like the theme and there isn't a game does better at this.

Image : Sci-fi Faniverse
by gamefan84 on deviantART

Conversation with myself from a different time

     I've been reading through some old memos of mine. One I wrote early last year told me this.

       "You don't have facts. You have opinions. And you hate things. Are you fucking serious? Go and have a happy life or make love with someone or something."

     It's like going back in time and talking to that other me. And this dude know how to push me to a corner.