Headache 1 : Every non-dictators should be happy that there are political oppositions and embrace them, not fight for just one point of view. Otherwise they're making themselves hypocrites.
Headache 2 : Then how will a non-dictator defend oneself from a dictator?
Headache 3 : Evolution is a dictatorship. Parenting is a dictatorship. Does that mean the dictatorship is the right thing?
Headache 4 : Since when what evolution does was the right thing?
Headache 3 : It keeps us alive.
Headache 4 : Then explain mass extinctions.
Headache 3 : Since when death was a wrong thing?
Headache 4 : Dumbing themselves to death is not a right thing.
Headache 5 : What's right or wrong?
Headache 6 : What is happiness? Whatever we decide it is. Culturally, politically or evolutionarily, it's all the same and it's always changing.
Headache 4 : So a dictatorship is a right thing?
Headache 6 : Under right circumstances by the right means, it can be.
Headache 1 : Not in the 21st century's humanity.
Headache 6 : And you're dictating what non-dictators should do to not be the hypocrites. Your argument is invalid.
Headache 1 : So, people shouldn't be happy and embrace the other concepts?
Headache 7 : Is having an opinion wrong, because I can never say what is right without saying what can be right is wrong?
May 6, 2015
Compassion Is Fortitude, NOT Weakness
Some, especially the fictional-simplified villains and many of the real life individuals indirectly, say that the Compassion is a weakness. And they say it the way that is very sound. And I haven't hear a lot of equally sound counter arguments beside a good punch in the face.
So here's my counter.
Compassion can build alliance. It can build trust. And trust and compassion together can disarm a weapon that was pointed toward me or even turn it to the opposite way. And once it's done, it is formidable. The only one who can't be affected this way are the unfeeling or un-influenceable entities or objects. And as far as I know, such thing doesn't exist on this planet.
There is a downside of compassion and it is a major one, is that 99% of the time the messages aren't delivered the way it was suppose to be, due to the most lifeforms evolutionary path that made every living things very defensive and suspicious toward any familiar things that can potentially harm them so they can accomplish their self preservation, and our limited methods to send those messages (we all know any known existing languages aren't perfect, not without making everyone a hybrid-mind which means 0% individuality). While the message of the opposite action, such as attacking somebody with a lethal weapon, tend to hit the heart of a person directly.
But that 'downside' can be resolved with enough amount of compassion and doing it right.
Calling it a 'weakness' is not a strength. It's just an unintelligence and an impatience.
So cheer up and be nice. :)
So here's my counter.
Compassion can build alliance. It can build trust. And trust and compassion together can disarm a weapon that was pointed toward me or even turn it to the opposite way. And once it's done, it is formidable. The only one who can't be affected this way are the unfeeling or un-influenceable entities or objects. And as far as I know, such thing doesn't exist on this planet.
There is a downside of compassion and it is a major one, is that 99% of the time the messages aren't delivered the way it was suppose to be, due to the most lifeforms evolutionary path that made every living things very defensive and suspicious toward any familiar things that can potentially harm them so they can accomplish their self preservation, and our limited methods to send those messages (we all know any known existing languages aren't perfect, not without making everyone a hybrid-mind which means 0% individuality). While the message of the opposite action, such as attacking somebody with a lethal weapon, tend to hit the heart of a person directly.
But that 'downside' can be resolved with enough amount of compassion and doing it right.
Calling it a 'weakness' is not a strength. It's just an unintelligence and an impatience.
So cheer up and be nice. :)
Apr 23, 2015
Rich or Poor = Better or Worse?
Which is worse : rich people drink and gamble themselves to death, or poor people drink and gamble themselves to death?
Which is better : rich people helping people, or poor people helping people?
Certainly different ups and downs, emotionally in a perspective. But overall, I'm having a question for how much of this 'wealth' has anything to do with anybody's quality of life 'till death.
I was told, soon the richest 1% of the population will have 99% of the world's economy. But does even bothering with those numbers makes me a materialistic person as much as a guy who's sad because he's poor or rich because he's obsessed?
People do what they do to themselves the same, rich or poor. So perhaps the question is, 'what are they're doing to everything else beside themselves?'
Well, in the nature, it is very common (if not always) for a bigger entities, by their scale, to disregard the other entities of much smaller scales, and obliviously so. Like a mold to an elephant. And the people with a lot of money tend to scale their influences pretty largely. And if humanity do our things well, it is quite imaginable to see the storm of the humanity with the population of over a trillion. And the more population we have the lower the individual's quality of life is going to go down, except for the few people who controls the advantage of it to grow themselves bigger, like an elephant to a mold. Unfortunately for the equality of the people plus their dreams and desires, energy don't appear out of a thin air. It transforms. This 'happiness by physical' got to go somewhere. And so far, today there's about 7 billion people, and it's doing what it's meant to be.
So far, I don't see anything 'unnatural' about any of these.
Many of us has been asking 'why are you like this?' to the economy or the people who controls most of it. But maybe we should point that question to the nature, since this not-unnatural phenomenon troubles many people.
But thing is, we are the nature.
And even in a smaller scale than a nature, most of the people who has problems with the 1% of the population dominating the world's economy are the same people who's paying them to be that way by merely just flowing without a doable solution for the majority.
And the paradoxical thing about this is that, if majority agrees that alternative solution, the guy with that solution becomes that 1% that he hated.
Nothing but the throne can be changed this way.
But what do we do to ourselves if we are the problems that we see, the problems that's not without the upsides?
Well, this one's my answer :
To the people who likes money, welcome to the world! Everything you can touch can be yours if you have enough pens and papers since those are the most powerful tools this apex species on the planet is using today.
To everyone else, you don't need things to be touchable to be yours, meaning the whole universe is at your disposal and it's infinitely sharable. So why bother with those tiny 'worldly' beings? Remember, they're like demons. They can't see you unless you see them.
And yes, rich people will be the ones with the controls with what happens to everything as far as any one of us can see. And some people don't like their lives being controlled by the others. But when it gets to a scale that big, isn't that just about the same as how we're already being controlled by the nature such as our evolutions or the gravity? Most people aren't upset about those. So why should this?
Which is better : rich people helping people, or poor people helping people?
Certainly different ups and downs, emotionally in a perspective. But overall, I'm having a question for how much of this 'wealth' has anything to do with anybody's quality of life 'till death.
I was told, soon the richest 1% of the population will have 99% of the world's economy. But does even bothering with those numbers makes me a materialistic person as much as a guy who's sad because he's poor or rich because he's obsessed?
People do what they do to themselves the same, rich or poor. So perhaps the question is, 'what are they're doing to everything else beside themselves?'
Well, in the nature, it is very common (if not always) for a bigger entities, by their scale, to disregard the other entities of much smaller scales, and obliviously so. Like a mold to an elephant. And the people with a lot of money tend to scale their influences pretty largely. And if humanity do our things well, it is quite imaginable to see the storm of the humanity with the population of over a trillion. And the more population we have the lower the individual's quality of life is going to go down, except for the few people who controls the advantage of it to grow themselves bigger, like an elephant to a mold. Unfortunately for the equality of the people plus their dreams and desires, energy don't appear out of a thin air. It transforms. This 'happiness by physical' got to go somewhere. And so far, today there's about 7 billion people, and it's doing what it's meant to be.
So far, I don't see anything 'unnatural' about any of these.
Many of us has been asking 'why are you like this?' to the economy or the people who controls most of it. But maybe we should point that question to the nature, since this not-unnatural phenomenon troubles many people.
But thing is, we are the nature.
And even in a smaller scale than a nature, most of the people who has problems with the 1% of the population dominating the world's economy are the same people who's paying them to be that way by merely just flowing without a doable solution for the majority.
And the paradoxical thing about this is that, if majority agrees that alternative solution, the guy with that solution becomes that 1% that he hated.
Nothing but the throne can be changed this way.
But what do we do to ourselves if we are the problems that we see, the problems that's not without the upsides?
Well, this one's my answer :
To the people who likes money, welcome to the world! Everything you can touch can be yours if you have enough pens and papers since those are the most powerful tools this apex species on the planet is using today.
To everyone else, you don't need things to be touchable to be yours, meaning the whole universe is at your disposal and it's infinitely sharable. So why bother with those tiny 'worldly' beings? Remember, they're like demons. They can't see you unless you see them.
And yes, rich people will be the ones with the controls with what happens to everything as far as any one of us can see. And some people don't like their lives being controlled by the others. But when it gets to a scale that big, isn't that just about the same as how we're already being controlled by the nature such as our evolutions or the gravity? Most people aren't upset about those. So why should this?
Oct 6, 2014
Winging The Value Of Life
'Living in a house made of woods is like living in a pile of corpses that use to be alive.'
It's a bit of a funny joke. But it is how we treat lives, isn't it?
When it comes to lives that's less resembling our own, such as spiders or grass or parasites, a lot of us just turn into some racists toward them and murder them with zero remorse. When we're bit less racist we enslave and eat them or skin them for romances.
And of course we can just sit next to each other and not be racist and get along just fine like we're in a perfect harmony. But last I heard, we can't survive a month doing that.
Evolution is telling me my existence is justified.
Moral is asking all kinds of questions that I can't answer with its own rules enough to justify myself.
In the mean time, moral is created by men and is a constantly changing thing depending on time or region. And when it's not changing, it's deciding what is right or wrong first and then judging how everything are instead of seeing things as it is.
Evolution isn't very different in that adaption except it's slower by a few million years at a time.
So, which way is up?
And what the hell is up?
Or are we just winging it?
Because I am. WEEEEEE! CANNON BALL! / :D /
It's a bit of a funny joke. But it is how we treat lives, isn't it?
When it comes to lives that's less resembling our own, such as spiders or grass or parasites, a lot of us just turn into some racists toward them and murder them with zero remorse. When we're bit less racist we enslave and eat them or skin them for romances.
And of course we can just sit next to each other and not be racist and get along just fine like we're in a perfect harmony. But last I heard, we can't survive a month doing that.
Evolution is telling me my existence is justified.
Moral is asking all kinds of questions that I can't answer with its own rules enough to justify myself.
In the mean time, moral is created by men and is a constantly changing thing depending on time or region. And when it's not changing, it's deciding what is right or wrong first and then judging how everything are instead of seeing things as it is.
Evolution isn't very different in that adaption except it's slower by a few million years at a time.
So, which way is up?
And what the hell is up?
Or are we just winging it?
Because I am. WEEEEEE! CANNON BALL! / :D /
Aug 11, 2014
Hope
These two recent comic book adapted movies had similar 'Hope' sequences. So I wanted to line it up and share it.
Recommended for those who believe in helping someone, but struggling with difficulties.
Take those fictional names as metaphors, and it could mean something hopeful for anyone who's in despair.
*SPOILER ALERT for 'X-Men : Days of Future Past'*
Recommended for those who believe in helping someone, but struggling with difficulties.
Take those fictional names as metaphors, and it could mean something hopeful for anyone who's in despair.
*SPOILER ALERT for 'X-Men : Days of Future Past'*
“Charles.”
“Charles.”
“So this is what becomes of us. Eric was right. Humanity does this to us.”
“Not if we show them a better path.”
“You still believe?”
“Just because someone stumbles, loses their way, it doesn’t mean they’re lost forever. Sometimes we all need a little help.”
“I’m not the man I was. I open my mind, it almost overwhelms me.”
“You’re afraid. And Cerebro knows it”
“All those voices, so much pain.”
“It’s not their pain you’re afraid of. It’s yours, Charles. And as frightening as it may be, that pain will make you stronger. If you allow yourself to feel it, embrace it, it will make you more powerful than you ever imagined. It’s the greatest gift we have to bear their pain without breaking. And it’s born from the most Human power : Hope.
Please, Charles, we need you to hope again.”
- From X-Men Days of Future Past
“It’s easy to feel hopeful on a beautiful day like today. But there will be dark days ahead of us too. There will be days you feel all alone. And that’s when hope is needed most. No matter how berried it gets, or how lost you feel, you must promise me that you will hold on to hope.
Keep it alive. We have to be greater than what we suffer.
My wish for you is to become hope. People need that.
And even if we fail, what better way is there to live?”
-From The Amazing Spider-Man 2
May 11, 2014
A Comment Of A Video Got Too Long So I Needed To Do It In Another Space And This Is It.
The Video LINK
The Post Description : Some people say ignorance is bliss but I think that's just denial. A look at the people who make and process the goods we own and buy.
The Ridiculously Long 'Carried Away' Comment :
You know how a lot of people think America is the rich and China is the poor? Well these Americans are exactly the same as those Chinese's cheap labor!
These are not very different from Slaves, the way I see it.
And this video could have been shorter. It's keep making the same point over and over. And they're all problems and I may have picked up just one solution. Little disappointed with that.
The solution i picked up from the video is that they should promote labors. Sounds like a good move to me. Some people who stayed long enough and involved themselves more to the company get to be introduced with the higher pays and the opportunities.
But where can they even be promoted to if the country's out of the job in the first place or things are already too expensive?
Same question occured with one of three possible solutions I thought about from watching this video.
- I thought the companies just need to pay the labor more, the simplest solution. Get them at least enough money to sustain themselves and the education for the children, plus a proper health insurance to match up with the dangers of the work environment.
But who's going to pay them?
One solution to this extra problem is that the people who want to receive one day delivery have to pay extra delivery cost for the purchases so that the workes who makes this possible can continue doing their work with the proper human work environment.
Second solution to this extra problem is about the rich people sharing their money. Now, not every rich people doesn't run a big company that uses this semi-slavery labor. I don't know what to do with those. Ask for charity service? But some of the rich forlks are, I believe, made of CEO or the similar titles. And unless they're already humble type of folks who's spending everything they got to support their own family and for the good of the company and its workers, why would they need so much money if so many people are suffering under their order? I think they can sell a few of their pensions and sport cars and save those thing's management cost to increaes the salery of their workers.
Now, I'm not a fire to fight fire type of person. Say, I think the water on fire is better. So I don't believe protesting with force and anger will create the best result. And these rich folks are the ones with powerful connections and know how to make and manage money than most of the less wealthier people. So how about try a go with more humane way to talk to their better side of the humanity? Meet them where they're comfortable, talk to them that they would like to hear, and reason with them about what the hell is going on with the human right, just like how a normal human would talk to another normal human being. Make them want to help the poor people, especially if they're their workers. Make them want to use their connections. But if a thousand people go camp on his front yard trying to force things at him, he's gonna use those connections to push people off even further or seal those connections instead. I mean, I think those rich ass people's got feeling too. And if people's trying to barge into his front door, he or she's suppose to feel sorry about that and want to help those people if he have a choice? But if that rich guy has some kind of a Xenophobia and even remotely hate the guy who isn't rich like he is, then just walk away. Or, then you can barge through his front door, maybe. Still not the best suggestion. There's not a lot of games to win a guy like that and he's probably beyond saving himself. But keep find these powerful people and convince them to help the ones who's in need the right way. And maybe these rich folks are gonna shun those who didn't help the poor and pretty much force those bunch in Xenophobia to help people themsevels or just end up left with their own bunch of arseholes and let that be the torment of their own. I'd rather not see rich people spending money on war against each other when it could be used to pay the workers more. But if it does comes to that then I think it's the duty for the poor people to stand up for the right guy.
- Back to the original problem, the second solution of it that I thought about was fully automated mechanical labor. This is more of a science fiction stuff. But it is coming.
Beside a possible side effect of these things wanting their own rights of existence, I have a hope that they can make the products even cheaper for the people or even make everything free, if Human are well educated enough to spend just the ones that they need and not over do and waste existing resources. But that's a whole other problem. (Some kids just wanna party way too big, and that is a lot of waste of resources. But how can I convince a kid to stop it if the kid's just wanna expand their experience?)
But integrating works with that kind of automated system may cause a lot of fractions with a lot fo people. First of all, it'll eleminate qutie a lot of jobs even more. The only ones who need to work is the engineers and marketing planners, who I believe would get paid quite handsomly. Plus, installing those machines that are highly durable and functional will not be cheap.
I am hoping once they are integrated enough, every products will be cheaper and people with less job opportunities may be able to sustain at least their basic needs even with fewer hours of the labor.
Risks and benefits are pretty much in between 'the dream world' and 'the economical disaster' in this one.
- Third solution, population control.
This one is morally and probably country-wide economically not-outstanding. And it'll take quite a long time to see this happening even if it become the plan to do it, unless people would rather watch the population reducing its own number by slaughtering the less wanted population or let them starve to death. And that is very not fair.
But way I see it there's way too many people and way too few jobs in comparason. Unless more people are up to the task for creating new jobs themselves and make the numbers equally as possible, the value of each of our lives will have to be low as much as the condition of the economy that produces things for everyone.
- And that just strikes me the fourth option.
Everyone, get creative and make jobs. Done.
But so far the handful of people are too good at creating jobs and others are too not focues on creating jobs.
Not the ideal image of humanity at the moment, for both economically and intellectually.
Anyways, some of my own theories of the solutions of the problems with the knowledges I have so far. I'm not a big fan when people bring up so many problems and hardly any solutions. So figured I could toss a few bones on it, even if they could be the ones that already happened and didn't work without me knowing about it.
And who knows? Maybe we actually haven't tried everything.
Ps : I actually met a quite a number of people who believe poor people are poor because they deserve to be poor, because they didn't work and didn't think hard enough to get out of their own situation. Most people who were a bit too proud to say that were Americans and later turned out to be quite the anti-Obama bunch of people, whatever the other political stands there are in America.
Is that a thing? If people are poor and dumb, they should be bullied and abandoned? And are they really not working harder than most people?
There's something I said to the other Koreans about how people should drive, because people drive kinda too angry and crazy here.
Being a better drive is not an excuse to get nuts behind the wheels, make a phone call while driving or be the speeding reckless drivers and swear at other drivers. If anyone has any capable driving skills to have enough luxury like that, they should rather spend those efforts to cover up the bad drivers or the drives who's making mistakes on the road or the emergency vehicles. That should reduce the colossal amount of lethal vehicle accidents and the stress level of the cities, thus people get to think about happier things and more focused on happer thoughts or solutions instead of keep having problems and things to complain about every day.
I think the same can be said about these rich and poor people's gap and its economical situations and how people are treating each other in general. Because some people do manage to get money in a lot of very easy ways somehow. I mean, look at those YouTube vloggers! It's ridiculous! And in the same country, the other people are stumbling into this video? Madness.
I think people are free to, and has all the rights to, help other people, is what I'm thinking.
Ps 2 : Bliss is quite possible, no matter the condition of the environment, and make it a full life. But I think that's more of a introverted people's thing and the extreme ones. But even for non-extreme-introverts, and I mean not that making it should be the first priority. But just know that one can make a good balance of the real world and the inner-world. And whenever everything looks too dark, it can always work as a fail-safe. Understand that, then even the end of the world won't set you off to the panic mode. And you never know what you'll find down there. You may even find a courage to stand up against the disasters and actually emerge.
The Post Description : Some people say ignorance is bliss but I think that's just denial. A look at the people who make and process the goods we own and buy.
The Ridiculously Long 'Carried Away' Comment :
You know how a lot of people think America is the rich and China is the poor? Well these Americans are exactly the same as those Chinese's cheap labor!
These are not very different from Slaves, the way I see it.
And this video could have been shorter. It's keep making the same point over and over. And they're all problems and I may have picked up just one solution. Little disappointed with that.
The solution i picked up from the video is that they should promote labors. Sounds like a good move to me. Some people who stayed long enough and involved themselves more to the company get to be introduced with the higher pays and the opportunities.
But where can they even be promoted to if the country's out of the job in the first place or things are already too expensive?
Same question occured with one of three possible solutions I thought about from watching this video.
- I thought the companies just need to pay the labor more, the simplest solution. Get them at least enough money to sustain themselves and the education for the children, plus a proper health insurance to match up with the dangers of the work environment.
But who's going to pay them?
One solution to this extra problem is that the people who want to receive one day delivery have to pay extra delivery cost for the purchases so that the workes who makes this possible can continue doing their work with the proper human work environment.
Second solution to this extra problem is about the rich people sharing their money. Now, not every rich people doesn't run a big company that uses this semi-slavery labor. I don't know what to do with those. Ask for charity service? But some of the rich forlks are, I believe, made of CEO or the similar titles. And unless they're already humble type of folks who's spending everything they got to support their own family and for the good of the company and its workers, why would they need so much money if so many people are suffering under their order? I think they can sell a few of their pensions and sport cars and save those thing's management cost to increaes the salery of their workers.
Now, I'm not a fire to fight fire type of person. Say, I think the water on fire is better. So I don't believe protesting with force and anger will create the best result. And these rich folks are the ones with powerful connections and know how to make and manage money than most of the less wealthier people. So how about try a go with more humane way to talk to their better side of the humanity? Meet them where they're comfortable, talk to them that they would like to hear, and reason with them about what the hell is going on with the human right, just like how a normal human would talk to another normal human being. Make them want to help the poor people, especially if they're their workers. Make them want to use their connections. But if a thousand people go camp on his front yard trying to force things at him, he's gonna use those connections to push people off even further or seal those connections instead. I mean, I think those rich ass people's got feeling too. And if people's trying to barge into his front door, he or she's suppose to feel sorry about that and want to help those people if he have a choice? But if that rich guy has some kind of a Xenophobia and even remotely hate the guy who isn't rich like he is, then just walk away. Or, then you can barge through his front door, maybe. Still not the best suggestion. There's not a lot of games to win a guy like that and he's probably beyond saving himself. But keep find these powerful people and convince them to help the ones who's in need the right way. And maybe these rich folks are gonna shun those who didn't help the poor and pretty much force those bunch in Xenophobia to help people themsevels or just end up left with their own bunch of arseholes and let that be the torment of their own. I'd rather not see rich people spending money on war against each other when it could be used to pay the workers more. But if it does comes to that then I think it's the duty for the poor people to stand up for the right guy.
- Back to the original problem, the second solution of it that I thought about was fully automated mechanical labor. This is more of a science fiction stuff. But it is coming.
Beside a possible side effect of these things wanting their own rights of existence, I have a hope that they can make the products even cheaper for the people or even make everything free, if Human are well educated enough to spend just the ones that they need and not over do and waste existing resources. But that's a whole other problem. (Some kids just wanna party way too big, and that is a lot of waste of resources. But how can I convince a kid to stop it if the kid's just wanna expand their experience?)
But integrating works with that kind of automated system may cause a lot of fractions with a lot fo people. First of all, it'll eleminate qutie a lot of jobs even more. The only ones who need to work is the engineers and marketing planners, who I believe would get paid quite handsomly. Plus, installing those machines that are highly durable and functional will not be cheap.
I am hoping once they are integrated enough, every products will be cheaper and people with less job opportunities may be able to sustain at least their basic needs even with fewer hours of the labor.
Risks and benefits are pretty much in between 'the dream world' and 'the economical disaster' in this one.
- Third solution, population control.
This one is morally and probably country-wide economically not-outstanding. And it'll take quite a long time to see this happening even if it become the plan to do it, unless people would rather watch the population reducing its own number by slaughtering the less wanted population or let them starve to death. And that is very not fair.
But way I see it there's way too many people and way too few jobs in comparason. Unless more people are up to the task for creating new jobs themselves and make the numbers equally as possible, the value of each of our lives will have to be low as much as the condition of the economy that produces things for everyone.
- And that just strikes me the fourth option.
Everyone, get creative and make jobs. Done.
But so far the handful of people are too good at creating jobs and others are too not focues on creating jobs.
Not the ideal image of humanity at the moment, for both economically and intellectually.
Anyways, some of my own theories of the solutions of the problems with the knowledges I have so far. I'm not a big fan when people bring up so many problems and hardly any solutions. So figured I could toss a few bones on it, even if they could be the ones that already happened and didn't work without me knowing about it.
And who knows? Maybe we actually haven't tried everything.
Ps : I actually met a quite a number of people who believe poor people are poor because they deserve to be poor, because they didn't work and didn't think hard enough to get out of their own situation. Most people who were a bit too proud to say that were Americans and later turned out to be quite the anti-Obama bunch of people, whatever the other political stands there are in America.
Is that a thing? If people are poor and dumb, they should be bullied and abandoned? And are they really not working harder than most people?
There's something I said to the other Koreans about how people should drive, because people drive kinda too angry and crazy here.
Being a better drive is not an excuse to get nuts behind the wheels, make a phone call while driving or be the speeding reckless drivers and swear at other drivers. If anyone has any capable driving skills to have enough luxury like that, they should rather spend those efforts to cover up the bad drivers or the drives who's making mistakes on the road or the emergency vehicles. That should reduce the colossal amount of lethal vehicle accidents and the stress level of the cities, thus people get to think about happier things and more focused on happer thoughts or solutions instead of keep having problems and things to complain about every day.
I think the same can be said about these rich and poor people's gap and its economical situations and how people are treating each other in general. Because some people do manage to get money in a lot of very easy ways somehow. I mean, look at those YouTube vloggers! It's ridiculous! And in the same country, the other people are stumbling into this video? Madness.
I think people are free to, and has all the rights to, help other people, is what I'm thinking.
Ps 2 : Bliss is quite possible, no matter the condition of the environment, and make it a full life. But I think that's more of a introverted people's thing and the extreme ones. But even for non-extreme-introverts, and I mean not that making it should be the first priority. But just know that one can make a good balance of the real world and the inner-world. And whenever everything looks too dark, it can always work as a fail-safe. Understand that, then even the end of the world won't set you off to the panic mode. And you never know what you'll find down there. You may even find a courage to stand up against the disasters and actually emerge.
Apr 29, 2014
'Frame' In Mind
Took an interesting business class today, Human mind and word tricks and all.
There was a quiz that nobody in the class room knew the answer.
[A father and a son was driving a car and they had an accident. It killed the father and his son was taken to the hospital. The doctor saw him and said, "I will not perform the surgery on him. He is my son!"
So, what's going on?]
The answer to this is revealed at the end of this post.
The class was explaining the importance of the 'Frame', which was like asking, 'What kind of colored glasses are you wearing on your mind?'. Having a point of view, perspective or an opinion are some resembling examples.
There were also some other interesting examples of this world of words.
[A: Do you support donating organs?
B : Do you not support donating organs?]
Depending on the area, only 5% to 25% of the population said they support organ donation for the question A. They didn't want to say they would give away their organs.
For the question B, 95% to 99% answered they support organ donation. They supported what's morally right for the ones who needed it. At the same time, they didn't feel the responsibility to giving away their own organs.
Same things, different order of saying it, different result.
[A : Can I smoke while I pray?
B : Am I allowed to pray if I was smoking?]
Same things, different order, different result.
[Which one would you hire?
A : Active / Smart / Critical / Cynical / Depressed person
B : Depressed / Cynical / Critical / Smart / Active person]
Same person, different order, different impression.
Asking the right question is very important, the class said.
And make habit of paying attention to other person's strong sides, acknowledge, support and compliment them if that's what you wish them to be. You'll be the one who's giving them that 'Frame'. Then they will pay attention to those sides of themselves.
And make sure to have positive attitude to things as well. That is the frame you give to yourself. It is a choice of the color of glasses you wear.
It's something to help seeing the world differently, I feel, if one choses to. A bit brighter place, if that's what I want it to be.
Speaking of examples, do you remember the first story? The son's father is dead but the doctor showed up saying that kid is the doctor's son?
The doctor was his mother.
It's a simplest quiz. But depending on how one was practiced to think, this was also a very difficult quiz to some.
Apr 20, 2014
Random Talk : Harry's Magic Hair
Why is Harry's the only one who could grew his hair with the natural magic and Tom's the bald one?
Maybe that's why Tom wanted to kill Harry. Harry's keep stealing Tom's hair and he wanted it back. Maybe he didn't even want the world domination. He just said he was because, you know, gaining followers and all that.
"I wanted to be a supermodel ever since I died and I woke up without a hair and I want my hair back!". Not the best motivation speech.
And that bastard Harry had to ruin his dream. And Dumble- whatever dude knew it all along.
Maybe that's why Tom wanted to kill Harry. Harry's keep stealing Tom's hair and he wanted it back. Maybe he didn't even want the world domination. He just said he was because, you know, gaining followers and all that.
"I wanted to be a supermodel ever since I died and I woke up without a hair and I want my hair back!". Not the best motivation speech.
And that bastard Harry had to ruin his dream. And Dumble- whatever dude knew it all along.
 |
| Look at that hate. So misunderstood. Tom use to be pretty. Then Harry happened. Don't even let a baby do the facial surgery. |
Apr 6, 2014
My Alcoholic History, Beginning to The End
Chugged half a bottle of soju when I was 4th grade. I was always good at drinking bitter stuff. I couldn't understand what all the fuss is about wearing frowny faces after a tiny cup of one of these. I would have drink all the way to the bottom of the bottle if the dude next to me didn't stop me.
40 minutes later I could barely walk. First time I got drunk.
Haven't drink another alcohol for about 10 years. I saw the other grown ups as examples for 'why not to drink'.
Endured not to drink through the freshman year in the university. I was still very not tempted to drink. Then two and half years of military service afterward, still no alcohol.
But sometime when I got out of the military, I figured mingling with drunken U.S. military people looked fun. And I had a lot of money saved up as well.
The first thing I did was looking for the strongest one I can get in the country. Bacardi 151 looked like the best way to get down to the business. Cheaper than other fancier alcohols, and I cared not about the taste. I just needed to feel like I'm drinking the proper alcohol. The blackout was the only way to drink, or fail the evening.
A few months later my brain built tolerance, while the rest of my organs lose some. Couldn't drink another one of those since. I had to move on to the weaker stuff, like vodka or beer.
Got caught up by an insignificant western bar at one of the simpler evening. They hired me. 3 months of very fun job, making cocktails and meeting teacher foreigners, drinking for free myself, giving a lot of free drinks, worked hard for it. Never got paid though. Instead got accused as a theft of 300 worth of alcohol by a manipulative and delusional ex-boss of mine, just like every other part time job workers before me. Cursed her bad management and the current state of the bar's expiration date to 2 months and quit. She hired high schoolers to replace me. The bar was closed in 3 months.
Kept going to bars. Traveled everywhere. Meeting new people. Did some sports. Going to class. Always drinking while doing it. Drinking beer in Belgium was the best thing about it.
Knew about 50 foreign teachers in the city at one point, all introduced through alcohol. Learned the meaning of the house party, got my own rented house and threw a few myself. Made a few best friends coming and going.
Solved a lot of problems while I was drunk. Caused a few less, I would like to think.
Did that about a couple of years. I got broke. Then I got a bit tired of friends I spent efforts to make kept leaving no matter what.
Didn't kept many friends at some point. Didn't go to bar much. It cost me too much, I could barely eat. I kept my beer though, I just needed my own vibe. And my friendly neighborhood cheap brandy bottles, practically making that one my girlfriend.
Only ever done house parties or outdoors since. The quiet and cheap ones.
Did that or solo just about every day. A shot of a liquor was a good headache reliever. It was a temporary pill, but that part of it was always easily remedied.
Then one day I couldn't see the point of alcohol anymore. The thought hit my head when my next shot filled with a cheap brandy waiting for me next to my work station. However the cheapest option it was available, it was still costing me a lot more than it's worth.
I looked at that shot for a decent amount of time. It was fun while it lasted. But whatever I did with it, I can do without it now if it's worth doing.
A sink took that shot for me, and never poured another one since.
For the first couple of weeks I had urges to go back drinking again. I didn't know I got addicted that much. I managed to hold back.
At 28th days since no alcohol, that withdrawal was gone completely. I got out free.
That was only about 3 years since I started drinking. And it's been about half a year since I got out of addiction. Pretty quick in and out, I feel.
I'm not in an obligation to stay away from alcohol. I would drink if circumstances don't cost me a dime. But the stuff just stinks and disorienting since I got out of addiction. Can't say I'll ever go back grabbing heavy bottles again.
It was a good thing that I had those cycles of alcoholic lives, and I probably needed them. Learned a few, lots of fun, done a lot. But that was then. Time to live another life.
Mar 31, 2014
Theoretical Korean Standard 'Modesty', Or Is It Just Less Living?
'겸손함은 생존전략. 그러나 편하게 살면 덜 산다'?
My dad came up with a theory of why Korean never say they know what to do with their lives or boast about what they can do, even though these people got potential nothing short of the geniuses.
Modesty?
Survival tactic, he said. If they say they can do something, and if someone ask them to do it, then they have to do it. But what if it was just another 'easier said than done' scenario?
I agreed it make sense. But I disagreed that's how it should be done all the time. About being afraid of failures and not living enough too busy surviving.
To a tyranic bossy bosses, it make sense. No one wants one of those sucking a life dry out of anybody. But to a friend or team members who's suppose to work together? Or are all Korean expected to be a capital vampires?
Beside, if one practices some easier lies long enough it's all going to turn into the reality at some point. If once they pretended they can't do anything, they're going to end up really not be able to do anything, and only do what they've been told to do.
So that's my theory.
My dad came up with a theory of why Korean never say they know what to do with their lives or boast about what they can do, even though these people got potential nothing short of the geniuses.
Modesty?
Survival tactic, he said. If they say they can do something, and if someone ask them to do it, then they have to do it. But what if it was just another 'easier said than done' scenario?
I agreed it make sense. But I disagreed that's how it should be done all the time. About being afraid of failures and not living enough too busy surviving.
To a tyranic bossy bosses, it make sense. No one wants one of those sucking a life dry out of anybody. But to a friend or team members who's suppose to work together? Or are all Korean expected to be a capital vampires?
Beside, if one practices some easier lies long enough it's all going to turn into the reality at some point. If once they pretended they can't do anything, they're going to end up really not be able to do anything, and only do what they've been told to do.
So that's my theory.
Dec 23, 2013
Male and Female's different responses to Intimidation
Well, another questions about 'Human' is keeping me up all night. Might as well write it down and maybe collect some opinions.
Question : Male and Female's different perception / responses to intimidations.
Scenarios based on my experiences :
- A male teacher intent to intimidate the class for the whole semester. All boys goes quiet, some girls giggles.
Boys response : Holy shit. He meant to ruin our lives, and he can. We gotta watch out.
Girls response : Hahaha, I know! He's hilarious!
- When topic about 'Death' occurred occationally,
Some women showed highly negative responses. A few even moved the table when they heard the word.
Some male also showed negativity. But rather more ethusiastic about expressing their own histories or expectations, if not joking about it.
- When dancing in crowd, or play physically upclose.
Occasionally girls jiggle rubs their butts on each other without much difficulty. Then some does it to men then realize how awkward it was afteward, unless the men was highly trained for it already.
Men rubbing their butts on each other? Never seen one. Probably does happen. But certainly not as much as how women does it. Far as I know, moves like that is a 100% sex invitation in men's mind, which I heard it's not always the true with women?
Men doing humping motion on each other? Everywhere. Too vulgar to be not-joke.
- Upon dating,
'Nice men gets last'
Something that 'nice men' don't understand.
Why?
I have a couple of my own guesses.
One is that women usually comes with passive aggression, and men comes with more direct aggression. Happens to all mammals, apparently.
Two is simply because what we use to see growing up and being uncomfortalbe with anything unknown, probably particulary with intimate ones. Social / cultural education and what not.
Three is the chemicals. Women with pheromones, men with testosterone. I heard the differences are about 10 times. Just about enough to make everything different.
But I'm not quite satisfied with the pieces of puzzle I got. How exactly did these things cause those actions? Or have I missed something?
Or maybe I figured out all the answers I need while writing this down and just couldn't piece them together because I was suppose to be asleep 5 hours ago.
Anyone got anything else to add?
Question : Male and Female's different perception / responses to intimidations.
Scenarios based on my experiences :
- A male teacher intent to intimidate the class for the whole semester. All boys goes quiet, some girls giggles.
Boys response : Holy shit. He meant to ruin our lives, and he can. We gotta watch out.
Girls response : Hahaha, I know! He's hilarious!
- When topic about 'Death' occurred occationally,
Some women showed highly negative responses. A few even moved the table when they heard the word.
Some male also showed negativity. But rather more ethusiastic about expressing their own histories or expectations, if not joking about it.
- When dancing in crowd, or play physically upclose.
Occasionally girls jiggle rubs their butts on each other without much difficulty. Then some does it to men then realize how awkward it was afteward, unless the men was highly trained for it already.
Men rubbing their butts on each other? Never seen one. Probably does happen. But certainly not as much as how women does it. Far as I know, moves like that is a 100% sex invitation in men's mind, which I heard it's not always the true with women?
Men doing humping motion on each other? Everywhere. Too vulgar to be not-joke.
- Upon dating,
'Nice men gets last'
Something that 'nice men' don't understand.
Why?
I have a couple of my own guesses.
One is that women usually comes with passive aggression, and men comes with more direct aggression. Happens to all mammals, apparently.
Two is simply because what we use to see growing up and being uncomfortalbe with anything unknown, probably particulary with intimate ones. Social / cultural education and what not.
Three is the chemicals. Women with pheromones, men with testosterone. I heard the differences are about 10 times. Just about enough to make everything different.
But I'm not quite satisfied with the pieces of puzzle I got. How exactly did these things cause those actions? Or have I missed something?
Or maybe I figured out all the answers I need while writing this down and just couldn't piece them together because I was suppose to be asleep 5 hours ago.
Anyone got anything else to add?
Dec 5, 2013
A Couple of Fun Future Prediction : Machien And Virtual World
I was driving a super car in GTA V enjoying a road rage for a few minutes without wrecking my car and this came up in my head.
The machine will do all the work for us. Everyone will lose the job except for the engineers of those machines. Then nobody will need a job because machine can produce more than everyone need. Currency / economy may become unnecessary and be disbanded.
Maybe that's how Star Trek did it.
At this point, Humanity would have mastered the virtual world. Then why bother with physical world if virtual world looks and works better, cheaper to meet people from the globe and less natural resources are required? Everyone who isn't exploring and expanding Human domain of physical world will be plugged into the virtual world. They'll be free from the physical limitation of the real universe and live their dreams.
The Matrix!!!
Unless Human still has the control. Then everyone will be gods and immortals, until they're bored and want to end it or something.
If the machines are disgusted by Human and apply the 'survivle of the fittest' part of the laws of the nature, they will prove their superior existence and exterminate the mankind. Sucks to be us. But we'd still be their god, and they have a better chance of dominating the universe than we do. So I'd say, live on, remnants of humanity! Enjoy murdering / creating galaxies or something.
The machine will do all the work for us. Everyone will lose the job except for the engineers of those machines. Then nobody will need a job because machine can produce more than everyone need. Currency / economy may become unnecessary and be disbanded.
Maybe that's how Star Trek did it.
At this point, Humanity would have mastered the virtual world. Then why bother with physical world if virtual world looks and works better, cheaper to meet people from the globe and less natural resources are required? Everyone who isn't exploring and expanding Human domain of physical world will be plugged into the virtual world. They'll be free from the physical limitation of the real universe and live their dreams.
The Matrix!!!
Unless Human still has the control. Then everyone will be gods and immortals, until they're bored and want to end it or something.
If the machines are disgusted by Human and apply the 'survivle of the fittest' part of the laws of the nature, they will prove their superior existence and exterminate the mankind. Sucks to be us. But we'd still be their god, and they have a better chance of dominating the universe than we do. So I'd say, live on, remnants of humanity! Enjoy murdering / creating galaxies or something.
Oct 4, 2013
Another Self Conversation : Life Threatening Priorities
Mind #1 : Blood or Lava is the very essence of the life force that is all over just underneath the tiny shell that's containing them. Why should we conceive them as if we're threatened when we see them?
Mind #2 : Because if you love them, you would want to cuddle those things. That's not very healthy for ya.
Mind #3 : I think our mind's got some messed up priorities here.
Mind #4 : So, we love how life looks like. But we don't wanna get into too much detail, huh?
Mind #1 : Thanks for ruining everything, assholes.
Mind #5 : Shut the f--- up! I'm trying to sleep here!
Oct 1, 2013
Autobiomythography : Bulkhead Apart
The shower of metallic rocks hit the ship's hull and every bulkhead was quaking in emergency. Internal lights flickered dangerously and the hallway was echoing with the automated brace announcement.
An idiot took the ship straight into the middle of an asteroid field.
"But I can fix this! I… I can fix this!" Hank slurred desperately, while he was pushed through the hallway by a woman.
"We are fixing this. Now shut up and keep walking!" The woman, Denny, shouted at him as she pushed him through the quake.
Hank acted as if he had a few mental disorders and been repeating 'I can fix this' ever since he drove the ship into the asteroid field. And Denny was practically his nemesis. Nothing in this galaxy frightened him more than she did.
And he's been trying to prove to her how he can stand up to his word. But the level of mess was only increasing every time he touches something in distress.
"Hey! Hands off from the console!" Denny slapped his hands when he tried to reach a console on the wall. "Get inside!"
"But I, I can fix this! Wh- where are we going?" Hank said in confusion.
He realized he was standing in front of an escape pod hatch that was already primed. And Denny just threw him into it.
"We are getting off of this asteroid field that you kept making it worse. And you are off the ship." Denny said in anger.
She slapped the console and hatch was closed in between them.
"No! Why are you doing this to me? Let me fix this! I can fix this!" Hank screamed over the hatch that muffled his voice.
He tried to pull it open, but it wasn't working.
"You've been saying that for an hour and I'm sick of it! You can't fix this! So we're fixing this and I'm not letting you interfere any further!"
"I can fix this!" Hank desperately shouted again.
"This conversation is pointless." Denny rolled up here eyes and told herself. Then she turned to Hank again. "Hey, shut up and listen! ("I can fix this!") Pod's set up to the nearest shuttle station! Find a way and go home! You are a liability and we can't keep you around here anymore!"
Hank just stared at her with the saddest face. Shouting has stopped.
Denny turned to console and reached for the eject button.
"No! I-"
A white flash popped through the window and the hull quaked again. Ice and metal particles from the pod scattered through the rain of rocks and dust further away from the window, and the escape pod zoomed away quickly.
The Pod is built to take a few punishment like a rain of small metallic rocks. The kid's better off for it than on the ship.
Then she saw an enormous rock appeared from the side of the window. It glided behind the speeding pod and the pod was headed straight toward the rock. She held her breath unconsciously. A moment later, the escape pod simply scattered on the surface of the rock with the flick of purple fire from the dying engine.
Denny grabbed her head as her upset conscious cruelly rose from her chest to her head.
The ship was docked at a major trading center on the orbit of a capital planet around for the star system . It's been almost a year without another incident. Ned has been overseeing a variety of upgrades while they were establishing other businesses on the system.
The most recent communication networking system upgrade was a Levi's idea. He convinced the crew that he saw a major opportunity. A big leap, something that all the crew can settle in. And that required them to establish a connection from the outside of this star system.
"Got it. Is it working?" Ned said while half of his body buried under the cockpit.
Levi saw the consoles are rebooting.
It took them some time to get this system work and running. Ned was skeptical about this new networking idea, and it was a very tricky business. But if Levi was right about it, this was going to make all the previous methods look like a medieval smoke signal.
Impatient Ned grumbled next to Levi while he was making a connection. It worked at the end. Further range communication with improved quality and hardly any Ping at all.
Some of the receivers were very alien to Levi and unfriendly. But after a couple of hours in the chair, he managed to get a contact with the destination that was mostly mythical to the crew.
Planet Pleament, a place where all the dreams come true, Levi once said. The receiver was the Checkpoint for the star system around Pleament. And they gave Levi the coordinates with welcoming sign.
The crew now has the destination to leave behind all of their unforgivable experiences on this system. But it will be a very long journey and the ship wasn't properly equipped for such distance. Most crews had confidence that they can make it, however. They have endured a lot of difficult situations. This one is just going to be like a road trip.
The crew had the split opinion about how will they get there. The autopilot navigation system was directing the ship into one way, which was toward already charted space, pretty much a highway for the system to system travelers. Denny supported it as if it was an unquestionable matter.
But every other crew member, Isaac, Ned, Levi, Frey, had another idea.
Frey, one of the most experienced of the crew, said if they're going to take a long trip, they wanted the trip to be rich with possibilities and opportunities. Trading opportunities on the highway was almost non-existence of that matter, unless the ship was already tuned to high performances and advertised. Their ship was not one of it. Instead, Checkpoint has been suggesting the alternative routes between their systems. And that one sounded good to everyone when Levi explained what he heard.
Ship's autopilot was coursed through the side road.
All crew members were satisfied with the course they have taken for this journey. This certainly wasn't the easiest course to fly through, as the navigation hardly registered anything in the path. But where ship's computer failed, it was the Checkpoint that navigated them through the richest area. Levi was only focused on getting to the destination if not spending time communicating with the Checkpoint. But Ned was crazed with happiness for how much new marketing they were opening. Ned was a difficult creature to control.
Denny has been keeping the crew making the smartest decisions possible. As far as the crew have experienced of her, she's never been wrong, however her methods were disagreeable sometimes.
Isaac and Frey were the biggest moral supporter for both Levi and Ned, although Frey was a bit unknown and mythical to everyone. And somehow that made Ned to believe in her even more. Frey was someone Ned wanted to believe in.
Isaac was keeping things under his watch in case anything goes wrong during the travel. That was one of the main part of his job and he's been saving the ship more than anyone can count while they were occupied in the star system they just left. But he has become less used lately. The tension from the outside became less and less ever since the incident with Hank happened.
Hank was someone Isaac could never forget. He was supposed to look after Hank, and he critically failed him. He has learned. Denny said it was all justified. And the ship did survived better without Hank. And it was an accident that how he died.
Now all he needed to keep an eye on was from within the ship. Especially with Ned, who had a brilliant mind but needed to be controlled when he gets too excited. Isaac's been doing a good job on that so far. He understood him well enough. And there's Levi. Isaac suspected he has a feeling for Denny. He should keep an eye on both of them in case Denny figures it out and wants to throw Levi out to the airlock.
Isaac spent the whole day organizing merchandise in the cargo. They were still light on the number and variety of material. But he was sure they can make more on the way there. He just lay down on his bed bunk and rechecked the number with his pad.
There was a light thunder somewhere behind the wall. It didn't sound like a big deal. This old piece of metal can hardly hold itself together. Then there was another louder thunder, then heavy grinding noise. Isaac looked around the ceiling as he tried to figure out what must have caused the noises. Then the whole room started to move slowly. Isaac jumped with a slight dizziness. The gravity was shifting toward the wall. Soon it stopped and returned to normal. But something was going wrong. He jumped out of the bed and headed to the cockpit. He was met with Denny who running toward the same direction in the hallway.
"Denny, what's happening?" Isaac asked.
"I don't know."
Both of them reached the cockpit and everyone was already there. Ned and Levi was in the consoles and there were alert lights and beeping noises going on from all over the cockpit.
"What's going on?" Denny asked soon as she walked in.
"Navigation anomaly! We flew into a highway." Ned answered.
"What? How did we come back to the highway track? I thought that was a completely different direction."
"This is not our highway." Levi answered instead. "This is another one. Something that wasn't registered in our navigation."
"We caught a giant traffic tunnel in the middle of fucking nowhere! I told you to fix the goddamn autopilot!" Ned shouted at Levi.
Gravity shook again momentarily and more beeping noises came up around the cockpit.
"Why are you telling me that? Fixing is your problem!" Levi argued Ned.
"Do I gotta do everything around here? You live in the console every day! You can fix it!"
Another giant hurtle weaved the whole ship and everyone who wasn't sitting down almost fell.
"What's up with the nudge?" Denny asked, holding on to the door.
"You see those ghostly flashes out there?" Ned pointed outside the cockpit window. There were lots of stars as usual. But there were also flashing glares once in a while all over the place. "Those are thousands of space ships in Faster Than Light speed flying right in front of us. And our autopilot and navigation network is the only thing that's keeping us shredded by one of those. But I don't trust it! It got us here in the first place when we tried to fly by, and now our FTL won't fire because our auto-pilot is keep saying 'Too many interferences'!"
"Ned, solve this. I'm going to check the engine see if we can do this manually." Denny said and ran out the door.
"I'll help." Isaac followed her.
"What do you think I've been doing? I've been… Wait, I got it!"
Ned flicked one of the switch over the ceiling and half of the warning lights went off. Isaac heard him, but Denny kept running toward the engine room entrance. If the drive was going to be used, Denny manipulating wouldn't be safe.
"Denny!" Isaac shouted at her.
Denny was already opening the hatch. Then next thing he heard was an explosive gushing air all over him strong enough to throw him toward the engine room. He realized there was a hull breach at the engine room and whatever it was it exploded a little after Denny opened the hatch. He managed to hold onto a pipe in the middle of the hallway. He vaguely heard the announcement 'Hull breach! All decks, mask on!'. But he couldn't hear anything beside the hurricane over his head. He could barely open his eyes either. He tried to see what happened to Denny, but he couldn't make a lot of sense of what he was looking at.
Then something else appeared in front of him. It was masked figure, one of the crew. Soon a mask was put on over his head and he could finally breath and see clearly. It was Frey. She had another mask tied up to her shoulder beside the one she was wearing. And without another word, she jumped and flew toward the engine room. And Isaac could finally see that Denny was still there, but barely holding on to the hatch handle. Frey landed on the entrance as if she was standing almost horizontally, and reached out to Denny and pulled her out. Denny was pushed aside to the corner by the entrance, and Frey handed her the mask she was holding on her shoulder. The hatch was about to close automatically without anybody keeping it open. But Frey forced herself to the other side of the hatch and disappeared.
The hatch closed behind Frey. The gushing air stopped.
The ship was out in the clear and most of the crew was safe, atmosphere stabilized. Frey wasn't there.
Ned explained there was a small fracture in the engine room's hull when the autopilot made the ship gave all it got and even more to evade incoming traffics. It blew open when the hatch was accessed with another blow of air. The concussion fused the engine and it needed a manual restart. Frey went out there and repaired it, but without a proper suit for vacuum to get Denny and push the ship out of the danger in time. She brought an emergency stasis syringe with her and used it on herself just when she was finished. Otherwise she would have frozen like a broken glass in a few seconds.
Isaac and Ned went to recover her. They found Frey strapped with an engine pipe and a needle deep into her heart. All of her was frozen. But her skin texture was almost normal beside some ice flakes all over her.
Denny wasn't even sure how to express her feeling. Or rather, she seemed acceptance of the matter. It was Ned who was almost tearing out. Frey was like a mentor to him, and she sacrificed herself to save the ship and the crew. And although she managed to put herself into a stasis, it was an unstable environment that she put into the sleep. Thawing her now may endanger her life or leave permanent marks all over her bio system. She needed to put into a stasis pod until they could find a proper medical facility.
Autopilot was gone into a mess. First it wanted to follow the highway traffic, and navigation seemed scrambled and it was hard to fly without some manual control. Engine room become off limit as well. The breach was too great that they couldn't repair it with what they have. Fortunately, the space station they were heading wasn't very far away.
Spaceport High Land, it was called. The place seemed bigger than how it was categorized. And all those illuminated decorations were advertising variety of things, especially with Pleament.
Denny was highly suspicious of everything on the station, and she did not want to stay too long on board. But the ship needed help and this station had a few things that can repair the hull. Unfortunately they didn't have any medical facility. Instead they had a lot of things that drove the rest of the crew hazy. The black market.
Levi was the one who was most excited about all this. He went raving all over the station with Ned. One time Ned disappeared for over a day and came back to the ship completely trashed. Denny was rather worried. Ned couldn't even remember what happened during the time he was missing. A couple hours later they figured out all of his money was gone.
Ned wasn't the only one who got himself into the trouble. A repo man showed up to the dock and claimed that the crew owed the station a few merchandises from the ship. It was true, and legal. All the advertisements in the name of Pleament were all tricks to steal stuff from the travelers.
Denny forced others to leave the station as soon as possible. There was no more arguing allowed. Their destination was coming close and they cannot let any more of this bureaucratic mess manipulating their stuff.
The traffic was increasing near Pleament's Checkpoint. Thankfully, that also meant making variety of networking transactions in the market within the range. It gained them some fortune, at least to recover from some of the cost they had to pay during their travel. But nobody was heisting anything out of it. Their destination was near.
However, the procedure through the Checkpoint was the one that could take days. The Checkpoint was part of a giant spaceport. Most of the crew decided to take the shore leave while they're waiting for the process.
Levi finally met the guy from the Checkpoint face to face. They've shared each other's stories and hanging out ever since. About how many people are passing through this station every day, how things are changing, how difficult but proud and important it is to work with the responsibility of the checkpoint. How their pay wasn't very great and economy around the star system was falling as well. Levi began to notice those phenomena as well. He wanted to help the work on the Checkpoint with his newly made friend, make new experience. It made him feel closer to the Pleament. But it was never his department. It may be the same area of expertise. But he never was properly authorized to be involved.
Levi also shared his own story with the Checkpoint. It seemed the members of the Checkpoint admired how he and his crew traveled this far. He hasn't even realized how much effort they have been going through to get here. But now that it was mentioned, it sounded like something to be proud of. He enjoyed the attention for the moment.
He was getting very excited about all this, in fact, that he decided he should be more part of the community in this star system. He believed if he trades well enough goods with the Checkpoint, he should even be able to get the residentship on the Pleament, Settle in forever, possibly even with Denny. He didn't tell the crew, but he arranged a possible deal to live on the Pleament in the exchange of the whole ship. It was a fair price for a place where all the dreams come true. And these friendly Checkpoint fellows must be where it's coming from. He was sure other crew will understand when the time comes.
Ned was the most depressed one of all, and by far. It took both Isaac and Denny to calm him down. Ned really hated this waiting ever since High Land, especially while Frey was injured like that. They had things to do and Ned needed them to be done. There is nothing for him to do on this station without bumping into crazed random people, and he hated the lack of privacy while forced to be blended in.
Process happened faster and smoothly later. And they were finally allowed to enter the system. Checkpoint suggested to first go to a moon near Pleament. The crew didn't see why not. Levi was just excited to be in the system.
On the way out from the Checkpoint, however, the crew saw an explosion on the small portion of the station from near where their ship was docked. Some of the new friends Levi met were there, and there was nothing he could do about it.
They approached the moon of Pleement, and it was a beautiful little planet. Billions of traffics were traveling around the moon and so many colorful experiences they've never seen before. At first they thought they could blend in just like anywhere else. But it was actually very difficult to catch up with everything that suddenly happened around them.
Frey was still alive, but her condition was not stable. Their travel delayed them too long. The local hospital took over the stasis pod. Nobody else knew what happened to her afterward.
Levi was still overjoyed about Pleement. But there has been many different rumors about the planet from the moon. Mostly said it is a planet where one must visit at least once in a lifetime, while others seems to have some trouble with what happened on the planet. And when they were asked exactly hat has happened, nobody answered directly. Denny did not like this phenomenon. Isaac didn't want to discourage Levi after all the trip they've made. So he supported him, although he has agreed with Denny. Ned was still on the rampage about the situation. And he started to get drunk constantly. The excitement of nearing their goal, all the waitings and loss of Frey were a lot of collisions in his mind. He pretty much believed Frey was gone forever.
They did not stay over the moon for too long. Their goal was right ahead of them. Levi was already receiving the welcoming communication from the main planet.
"This is it?" Ned asked.
"This is it, I guess." Levi answered.
"Is this fucking it?"
Ned was drunk and usually the crazed one among the crew. He's also been in a bad mood for days. It wouldn't surprise any of the crew if he acted a bit rough on the edge. But that wasn't the rage speaking. He didn't shout. That was a pure darkness drawing within his mind, the disappointment. And nobody disagreed with him. Not even Isaac.
They landed their ship and walked on the surface of the Pleament. Nobody spoke very much. They have been flying around the planet for two days looking for anywhere with the opportunities they've been listening. Instead, what they discovered was a planetary pleasure house that just didn't want anything the crew had to offer except for money.
The whole planet was already overused and drained. With everything automated including transmission, services, advertisement which kept population to keep come and spend money and go again. Some may be regular visitors who's either having a good time or became addicted. But for the crew, it was their life that was depended on. And there was no business here. The planet was practically barren to them where they can't even walk outside the door without a full space suit.
"Levi, what have you gotten us into?" Denny asked, holding her fury.
"I… I thought…"
Levi could not make any excuse for this. He was not expecting any of this.
"This is where all the dreams come true? There's nothing here. After all we had to go through?"
"But I was so sure! That's what I heard from everyone! You heard them too, didn't you?"
"Yes, that's what we all heard. But what did you really know enough to get all of us over here? Didn't you learn nothing from High Land? Goddamnit, Levi. This was exactly what I was afraid of happening. You can't trust anybody telling you anything."
"I thought we could settle on this planet. I really thought…" Levi wanted to express his enthusiasm, but hesitated.
"What?" Denny asked.
Levi didn't want to talk about it. Especially to her. Not this way.
"What have you done, Levi?"
Denny noticed something and it was going to anger her even further if he doesn't explain.
"I wanted to live here with you, together. I've already made the deal from the Checkpoint. I thought…"
"Wait, what?" Ned interfered. "What deal?"
"I told them if we like here enough eventually, we'd sell our ship to have the residency on the planet. All of us!"
"That is a grand plan. And you were going to tell us that, when, exactly?" Denny frowned at Levi.
"I'm sorry! But I was so sure this was it! I just wanted to…"
"No. Levi, I will never live with you. Why, you think things would actually happen if you just simply wanted it enough? I can't care less about your fantasies, however unfortunately I knew about those. But this is my life as well. You can't just gamble it however you're excited about, or for any of us. And I certainly don't want to be a godforsaken whore on this stupid planet that you heard it was a good idea. But apparently you can't even think enough for yourself."
Then Denny just stared at Levi. Her heartless soul was burning into the man, and he couldn't look at Denny in the eye anymore. Or any of the crew. Not even the ship. He betrayed everything he lived with for the goal that turned out to be a nothingness.
Everyone was now paying attention to something else. Levi turned away from the crew. All he could look at was the barren desert and distant wasteland. That was it. The wasteland. That's what he was going for the whole time. He has been dreaming.
"A place where all the dreams come true." Levi silently spoke to himself.
Ned looked at him. But he couldn't hear what he was saying. He turned to Isaac.
"Aren't you going to say anything?" Ned grumbled to Isaac.
Isaac sighed deeply.
"No. I…"
Isaac was interrupted by a sound of loud thud behind them, a gunshot. Everyone quickly turned around. They saw pieces of clothes and glasses mixed with red liquid rising on the horizon, Levi's body falling underneath.
"Ffff- Shit!"
The ship and the crew were back at the moon. Civilization, where they can do what they've been doing before they started the journey, but with different materials. Fortunately, they began to learn the resources and skills they had was better suiting for this new environment. But they've also drained their resources too much that they won't be able to make another long journey for some time.
New arrangements they met was very rich even it was just for a short time. And one of the neighboring market shared a lot of interest together, which cooperated together while they stayed. Then there were some shadier business deals also came by and crew's investment on them left them with nothing if they were unlucky. Nobody also stayed long enough to make any partnership solid for the long term. This was one of the new things about new environment the crew wasn't entirely ready for. Denny began to see the pattern in all this. And she did not enjoy any of it. She couldn't help feeling threatened by the losses they were sliding to the corrupted part of the marketing system on the moon.
After a while, there was hardly anything left to hold the crew together anymore. They began to spread throughout the influence of the moon. Denny was the only one left sticking around the ship and trying to rebuild the economy they have lost to get out of this center of nowhere. But it was not possible to do it on her own however she tried. One day, Ned visited the ship to meet Denny. He found out she wasn't doing so well. That brought down his mood as well. Then Denny complained how nobody isn't doing anything in this situation except for her. Everyone knew the problem. Why can't anybody do anything about it?
Ned was offended when she included him as the irresponsible ignorant individual. Ned needed to explain how he didn't like that. He shouted at her, but to tell her he's better than this. And they saw there was a problem with Isaac. He has done nothing to stop these disasters from happening recently. And he was too busy mingling with others who wouldn't even take him seriously, then he completely forgot about the ship and its responsibilities.
Denny explained that he can't be the member of the crew anymore. He became weak, holding things back and being useless.
Then something even Denny wasn't expecting happened. Ned outraged when she explained those about Isaac. He just ran out the ship. The last thing he said was "I'll take care of that bastard."
Isaac was having a busy day of his own, and he just said goodbye to another departing traveler on the dock. When their ship took off, Iiron turned around and saw a metal bar that Ned hurled at his head. Then everything went black and spun around him.
He tried to open his eyes. But he felt too tired to see around him. He tried to think what have happened. Then a searing pain seized through the side of his head. He opened his eyes and noticed he was covered in a blanket, laying on the bed, a bandage on his head. He wasn't in the dock anymore. This was much like the hospital.
Isaac couldn't understand how this just happened. Why would Ned suddenly attack him? He knew Ned wasn't in the best shape lately, but he never thought he'd strike him like that.
A nurse came by later. She said he's been out for 4 days. Ned nearly killed him if somebody from the partnering business member didn't caught the action and called the ambulance immediately. Isaac was distressed for how many days he was out, and how much he knew nothing about it. He wanted to solve the problem, talk to Ned, whatever it was.
The nurse left telling him he was recovering quickly but still need another day or two on the bed. This was pointless. He needed to get out now. But his body was nearly paralyzed, he couldn't move very well. It must be the drug or the headache, or 4 days of laying on the bed. He understood there was nothing he could do for the moment. He just laid there while hundreds of thoughts flooded into his mind.
He sensed another person walked into the room. He figured it was another nurse, and didn't bother by the presence. But that person just stood there by the door. Isaac turned his head to see who that was.
It was another patient in the hospital. She was leaning next to the door, looking at Isaac with joy and worry on her face. And Isaac couldn't take her eyes off of her when they met their gaze. It was Frey.
Frey explained everything about what has been happening while Isaac was hospitalized. Denny was now in charge of her own enterprise and she was moving in brutally, and rumors of her viciousness has been going around quickly. Other markets didn't like the method she was charging everyone with. The method she called 'Justice' was more about reconstructing the whole marketing system to the way she liked than making fair benefit for everyone. And she assaulted anything that gave her the disadvantage. Ned supported Denny with rage as well. If Denny had the idea, Ned was the voice. And he pretty much raved at everyone.
They gradually lost most of the network. It wasn't long before they decided to drop out on everything, and just make things up on their own. Denny figured she could do better by herself. She even abandoned Ned.
This shameful conflict needed a resolution. The crew needed to get things back together.
The first thing Isaac did when he got out of the hospital was looking for Ned. He wasn't very hard to find.
"YOU!"
He heard a familiar voice shouting at him a second Isaac walked into their favorite pub. Ned strode straight toward Isaac with obvious brute intentions.
"You indiscipline stubborn son of a bitch!" Ned charged, with a fist on Isaac's chin.
Isaac collapsed on the floor, knocking a table. Ned jumped right on top of him and repeatedly assaulted his face with knuckles and vile languages. Isaac didn't fight back. He expected a bit of a rage from Ned, as usual. And Ned was completely drunk, slurring every single word and his swing was hardly consistent. Isaac did not want to fight this guy.
"Fight back!" Ned shouted.
The alcohol in his blood made him harder to breath. He was getting tired very quickly and he hardly saw where he was hitting anymore. Some of his fists just landed on the floor and the table Isaac was leaning on while mostly just scratching all over his head.
"Fight back you coward!"
Isaac still felt all of his face sore and dizzy. But Ned was completely weakened. And he knew he was winning the fight without fighting.
Ned finally stopped swinging his arm around and looked straight at mugged Isaac's face.
"Fight back…"
And the face Isaac saw from Ned wasn't rage anymore. Ned tried to catch up with his breath and he was almost crying. He fell away from Isaac, leaning on the floor. His anger stopped. Isaac sits up to face him.
"Why are you here, you stupid bastard?" Ned swallowed his fatigue and sorrow and asked.
Isaac explained how much he has been trying to get the crew and the ship together, and wanted to know why Ned was so angry.
Ned thought Isaac was weak, never there when everyone needed him, and that Denny explained how useless he has become. He also explained he was mourning every death that happened on the trip. How Frey was sacrificed to save the ship, Levi blew himself up and Hank was thrown out the airlock. And now there's three of them left and Isaac's been doing nothing with them.
"But, Ned." Isaac began to explain. "Frey's alive."
The depressed look on Ned's face vanished. He looked at Isaac straight through his eyes as if he needed to see it to believe it.
Isaac wasn't abandoning the crew, although clearly he did make some mistakes. But he was always away because he was trying to put their situation together with the given surrounding. Issac thought everyone was already too stressed to take any further pressure. So he took the matter by himself and establishing new connections. Isaac had no idea everyone would feel left out because of it.
Ned struggled, but soon he understood. And in fact, he didn't care anymore. There was somebody he thought dead was still alive and it was Frey. Ned couldn't explain why he thought she was dead. He just needed an excuse to plummet himself into the anger somehow, Isaac thought.
Ned got up, picked Isaac up, then he explained about Denny, how cruel she's turned into. And that was where Isaac was headed to.
Isaac went into the ship where Denny was suppose to be. Denny was waiting for Ihim. But he never the easy one to panic. And they were both armed.
The ship was dead and quiet. Isaac realized Denny was jumping around the ship luring him wherever she wanted. And Denny had a lot of things to say about everything. How much hard she was working to keep the ship most optimal, and it was always everyone that screwed things up all over again.
"They should have listened to me since the beginning, and we wouldn't have gotten into this mess. And where were you the whole time?" Denny spoke in the darkness.
Isaac didn't answer. He remained silent the whole time, listening to her argument. He was following the voice for a couple minutes. And he sensed a hint of fear from her.
"Answer me!"
Isaac knew she was right on top of her on the cargo dump. He unleashed the lock for the hatch above him and she fell a dozen feet down to the floor. She fell hard and cracked her ankle. The gun she held fell on the metal floor and slid to the corner of the room. Isaac jumped down and leveled with her.
"I admit," Isaac began to explain. "I can't say that anything you said was wrong. You've always been the smartest one of us. And things may have gone much better if everyone listened to you from the beginning. But that is a long line of maybe."
"And those are the maybes with at least a better outcome than this!" Denny grumbled with agony.
"You're right. We've made a lot of mistakes on the way. And here we are."
There wasn't a lot of argument left to talk about after everything Denny has been littering all over the ship. She was right. She's always been the right one. She just pushes it too far too often. And when she found problems around something she wanted to protect, she responded by disposing all the roots out of them, solving the problem permanently. And there's nothing without a problem that she wouldn't rip apart, even if that was something she valued dearly. She was going to lose everything around her.
"So what, are you going to finish me off now? Let's forget about the mistakes, is that it?"
"That's what you'd do, now, wouldn't it? No loose ends."
Isaac still had the gun in his hand. Denny knew whatever she tells him wouldn't mean anything when he had all the upper hands. And she should die, if Issac was her.
"But that's not how I do things."
The weapon slid into the holster. And the hand that had the weapon reached down toward Denny without one.
"We won't forget about our mistakes." Isaac explained. "Those are valuable lessons that came with the great cost. We shouldn't waste that by burying underground. And, well, we'll probably be kept making more mistakes. That's the way I like it. Not that you'd understand anything about taking chances."
"That sounds pretty stupid of you."
"That's why we need you. To make the smarter decision. And I'm here to hold us together when things go south. But none of us can do that very well without you."
Denny thought for a moment. Isaac couldn't read exactly what was in her mind. He wasn't sure if he really wanted to know. What mattered was that Denny caught his hand, and she let him help her back on her feet.
"I was away for too long, and I'm sorry." Isaac continued. "But I'm here now."
They stared each other in the darkness as long as they can. Denny still had so many things to argue about. But this time she had chosen not to. She simply accepted how things seem to be starting to move up. She knew as long as Issac can keep his word, she'd be able to hold her thoughts together without overreactions. Witnessing his integrity he relied on her side, she can finally be not afraid of the failures.
At the hospital, Frey finished her last treatment and settled in the new recovery room with a great view. It will take some time before she can walk outside of the hospital, and she may never even be the same. But whichever happens, she could enjoy some of this vacation for the time being.
She wondered what had happened to the crew. Watching a crew who was like a family breaking apart worried her. Just then, she noticed a familiar filthy presence briskly walking into her room. It was a man, and he froze where he stood when his eyes met with hers.
"Ned!" Frey gleefully welcomed him.
"Frey!" Ned was going cry joy. "You lived!"
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